* Disclaimer, I will be talking about nursing, my thoughts and options of it, so if you don't want to read that's fine just skip this post and wait for the next one to read.

I have been debating weather or not to write anything but every time i nurse Abby, i think of things i would like to get out in the open, so i am sorry if this offends anyone but these are my thoughts and options so if they hurt your feelings then you can deal with them the way i have.

If any of you have every meet my daughter you will notice she is long and skinny, and she has a temper, and doesn't like to nap, but sleeps great at night. So some of you might think that because i breastfeed her something is wrong with my milk, not rich enough, not nutritious enough, not enough, or whatever. But before i left Texas I was in close contact with her ped's doctor, and a lactation consultant, they all monitored her weigh gain, they watch my feed her, gave me any pointers and suggestions but after every visit, they said she is doing great is was a slow weight gainer at first but she is gaining weight normally, and that my breastfeeding positions were great, they told me not worry about it, but if i was ever concerned that i could go upstairs and weigh her. I did do that once to see how much she was getting so i took everything off Abby, weighed her, feed her on my left side when she was done i re-weighed her then i feed her on my right side after she was done i reweighed her, she was perfect, i cant recall how much she ate but i remember thinking ok she is eating great.
Then I get here to Utah and i have some people that are close to me say some things, i reassured them that all was fine and that the doctors said she is doing great, but for about 3 days and straight i keep getting talked to about different things, so i make an appointment for her to get weighed, and what does the doctor say? "she is long and skinny but she is doing great, come in on Monday and we will reweigh her to see how much she is gaining", so i come in on Monday, she has gained the correct about of "average" ounces so he re assure me she is great. I would think that would make every one happy, but then i hear from some other close people, maybe she not sleeping, maybe she is crying, maybe your milk is runny, ext ext form some other people well at this point i just loose it, i am so tired of having no support the only two people that have never said anything but encouraging things, are in Texas, I feel so alone, and picked on. So i start to wean Abby of the breast to bottle so now i can i can pump her full of artificial food that way everyone will know how much, whats in it, they can feed her the positions they want or feel is correct or feed her long enough.
I after about a day i get super depressed , but for about 2 weeks I have only nurse Abby 4 times twice in the morning, afternoon and evening, (I figure i will nurse her when nobody is around that way i cant get judged or questioned) the other times i feed her i give her a bottle. Well you wanna know something after that and after a weekend of no breast milk just formula she gained the same amount of weight she does when i nurse her, so maybe she is just long and skinny, maybe she is fussy, maybe she doesn't nap and so on because that's her personality that's Abby, Long and skinny and fussy, I mean really have you not meet dustun or I she is just like us.
So after these few weeks of trying to wean her off the breast to bottle to make everyone else happy and me being depressed and wanting to cry whenever some one asks how is the breast feeding going, i have decide i am going back to breastfeeding, i know it will be hard i need to re build my supply that was lost, and Abby will be fussy cause she is use to just laying there having food flow down her throat she will have to re learn how to nurse again. Now i am not against giving her a bottle but why should i give her a bottle of artificial food when i have the two most natural untouched food and "bottels" that God gave me.
So like i have said before to other people, if you have any questions, comments or concern you are more then welcome to talk to me but if i assure you that all is great then please back off.


Sunday Drive

On Sunday My mom, dad, Abby and I all went for a Sunday drive, It was going great except, Abby spit up all over her self so i tried cleaning her up then she made a poopy so we stop off at a gas station i cleaned her bum and put her in nice clean dry clothes. Then we were ready to go, it was so pretty out side every time I looked at Abby she was looking out side,or playing with her bear so cute.
We drove past a calf farm and there was a bunch of baby calf's they were so cute, i had to get out and pet and feed them.
I had so much fun spending time with my parents, and looking at the beautiful scenery.


Our Anniversary!

Today is dustun and I's 5 year anniversary, I cant believe it has been that long, it has been so fast, with so much going on. Currently I am living in Utah, and He is in Training in Sheppard AFB. I feel so lonely with out him on this special day, but i know what he is doing for us, will provide many new special days.
I figured I would write down five (I could come with more but to keep with the them of five that what I'll do) things that are special about him or the reason why I love him

* He is so sweet with me, he always gets, or does things I ask him too.
* He is a hard worker, who provides for his family.
* He is determined if he sets his mind on something he doesn't give up until he achieves it.
* He loves me unconditionally.
* He listens to me, when I need to vent, then he try's to make me laugh.

Happy Anniversary Baby, I love you so much. We will be together soon. I love you
Love always,
your wife


Author: Unknown

Someday I'll jump in puddles, take a stroll or race
Someday I'll walk across the street or maybe walk in space
Someday I'll scale a mountain to watch the eagles soar
Someday I'll walk a tight rope or explore the ocean floor
Someday these feet will do some things that only Heaven knows
But for today they are happy just to wiggle all their toes.

Red Balloon

ninety-nine dreams I have had
In every one a red balloon
It's all over and I'm standin' pretty
In this dust that was a city
If I could find a souvenier
Just to prove the world was here...
And here is a red balloon
I think of you and let it go.

(lyrics from Blondie 99 red balloons)

Today's toy was a balloon, as I was feeding here she kept looking at my happy birthday balloon and Amanda's graduation balloon so when I gave her a chance to play with it she held on the string and moved her hand up and down and watched the balloon bounce in the air, then her little hands let it go and she watch it float up in the air she thought that was pretty cool. We probably played for a half hour with the balloons, come on who needs to spend money on toys! Plus she is like her mother, loves balloons!

Grandfather and Granddaughter traditions

My dad and Abby are so so funny together, you see this big butcher man and he looks kinda scary but he baby talks with the best of them! All though most of us say cute things, my butcher dad always picks her up and carriers her over to the buffalo head hanging in my parents back room, he is always saying look at that big hairy beast, and point out his eyes, nose, horns, and his beard, he takes her hand and rubs him. She is always looking at it, I cant tell if she likes it or is scared of it, but I think she likes it after all it reminds her of grandpa, Big hairy and kinda scary!


Grandparents and Great Grandparents

Grandpa Doug

Grandma Kathy

Grandpa Doug C.

Nanna Nacy

Great Grandpa Price

Great Grandma Bartschi

Great Grandpa Bartschi

I need to get some pictures with her and her other Great Grandparents, Grandma Price, Grandma and Grandpa Lowe, and Grandpa Boyd.
Ki feel so lucky to have all of them to meet her and have pictures taken with them , they all love her some and are so happy to have her here.

Easter 2009

It's late but it fits in with the rest of my post being late haha
This is her Easter Basket I got her with some gifts from Grandma and me, it has some new bottles, some more books, some onezies and pants. And a Pretty new Easter dress. She also go some Easter gifts from Auntie B and from nanna, I forgot to get a picture of that basket but they got her some cute toys, an outfit, some spoons, and rubber duckey to say if the water is too hot. some socks that fit perfectly, and washcloths, I got a very beautiful mother daughter necklace I'll have to take a picture of it.

We went to church then we went to aunt Minos for dinner, then we went to grandma and grandpa carlsens to visit.

Spring Time

These are some beautiful spring things we have stopped to look at when we took our walk, I love what the spring brings!

We went to the park today with grandma, we ate old grist mil you layed on the blanket looking up at the sky and trees, then we walked around. It was the perfect day.

We Went for a walk

And you were being such a silly girl I was finally able to catch you on film making one of you cute silly faces.


Dear Abigail

Dear Abigail,
Sorry it has been so long since I've written to you, but things have been so busy with all the feedings, diapers changes, making sure the house is clean, sleeping, having visitors over, getting ready to drive from Texas to Utah, driving for four days, getting settled into our house in Perry, Utah. And now trying to sell the house.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you so much. You have the prettiest eyes you always get compliments on how big and blue your eyes are, just like your mommy when she was a baby. When you smile your whole face lights up, I love it when I come in the room and your awake and talking to your self your to your dolly or you teddy bear, then you see me and give me the biggest smile with a little laugh.

I love spending time with you, I love nursing you and having you look at at me I love how you move your hands as if your trying to feel my face. I love reading you books, and having night and morning prayers. I love talking to you and showing new things. I love taking naps with you, I love talking to you. I love you so much.
I am so happy to have you hear in my life, I cant wait until we can be with daddy again.

You are getting so aware of your surroundings your always looking around. We play different games together, I have been helping you learn to control your head and how to roll over, I hang different things above your head so you can learn to focus on different objects and colors. When I put you in your swing you just look and laugh.

You are very strong willed you know what you want and if you don't get it you let us all know! I have never heard a baby scream you have the highest pitched scream sometimes i just laugh.

You have been such a good night sleeper, you have always slept good at night even when you were a newer born. We have bath time at 6:00p.m then we go in the room and you get a baby massages to relax you then I nurse you, then you get to hear me read you a few books, then we say prayer then I put you down at 7:00 sometimes you cry for a bit but most of the time you go right to bed, until about 4:00 then I change your diaper and feed you for a few minutes then back to bed until 7:00 p.m.

Abigail I love you very much I hope to right you more often, but just know you are so loved by many people.
love always,
Your mommy


some pictures of the trip to utah

Diaper change in the car

Sleeping in the car

Feeding her in the car

bath time

she loves her baths she just layes there and looks around. she is so cute