* Disclaimer, I will be talking about nursing, my thoughts and options of it, so if you don't want to read that's fine just skip this post and wait for the next one to read.

I have been debating weather or not to write anything but every time i nurse Abby, i think of things i would like to get out in the open, so i am sorry if this offends anyone but these are my thoughts and options so if they hurt your feelings then you can deal with them the way i have.

If any of you have every meet my daughter you will notice she is long and skinny, and she has a temper, and doesn't like to nap, but sleeps great at night. So some of you might think that because i breastfeed her something is wrong with my milk, not rich enough, not nutritious enough, not enough, or whatever. But before i left Texas I was in close contact with her ped's doctor, and a lactation consultant, they all monitored her weigh gain, they watch my feed her, gave me any pointers and suggestions but after every visit, they said she is doing great is was a slow weight gainer at first but she is gaining weight normally, and that my breastfeeding positions were great, they told me not worry about it, but if i was ever concerned that i could go upstairs and weigh her. I did do that once to see how much she was getting so i took everything off Abby, weighed her, feed her on my left side when she was done i re-weighed her then i feed her on my right side after she was done i reweighed her, she was perfect, i cant recall how much she ate but i remember thinking ok she is eating great.
Then I get here to Utah and i have some people that are close to me say some things, i reassured them that all was fine and that the doctors said she is doing great, but for about 3 days and straight i keep getting talked to about different things, so i make an appointment for her to get weighed, and what does the doctor say? "she is long and skinny but she is doing great, come in on Monday and we will reweigh her to see how much she is gaining", so i come in on Monday, she has gained the correct about of "average" ounces so he re assure me she is great. I would think that would make every one happy, but then i hear from some other close people, maybe she not sleeping, maybe she is crying, maybe your milk is runny, ext ext form some other people well at this point i just loose it, i am so tired of having no support the only two people that have never said anything but encouraging things, are in Texas, I feel so alone, and picked on. So i start to wean Abby of the breast to bottle so now i can i can pump her full of artificial food that way everyone will know how much, whats in it, they can feed her the positions they want or feel is correct or feed her long enough.
I after about a day i get super depressed , but for about 2 weeks I have only nurse Abby 4 times twice in the morning, afternoon and evening, (I figure i will nurse her when nobody is around that way i cant get judged or questioned) the other times i feed her i give her a bottle. Well you wanna know something after that and after a weekend of no breast milk just formula she gained the same amount of weight she does when i nurse her, so maybe she is just long and skinny, maybe she is fussy, maybe she doesn't nap and so on because that's her personality that's Abby, Long and skinny and fussy, I mean really have you not meet dustun or I she is just like us.
So after these few weeks of trying to wean her off the breast to bottle to make everyone else happy and me being depressed and wanting to cry whenever some one asks how is the breast feeding going, i have decide i am going back to breastfeeding, i know it will be hard i need to re build my supply that was lost, and Abby will be fussy cause she is use to just laying there having food flow down her throat she will have to re learn how to nurse again. Now i am not against giving her a bottle but why should i give her a bottle of artificial food when i have the two most natural untouched food and "bottels" that God gave me.
So like i have said before to other people, if you have any questions, comments or concern you are more then welcome to talk to me but if i assure you that all is great then please back off.


Julie said...

Poor Crystal!!! I know how hard it is when everyone decides that they need to meddle in your job as a mother - it does get easier as they get older - you start to really KNOW that you know what you're doing and those comments will just roll off your back.
Remember - mothers' instincts are hardly ever wrong. No one knows your baby like you do and no one knows the situations of her life like you do.
Don't let them get to you and don't doubt yourself. You're Abby's mommy - you know what's best. :)

Come visit when you get discouraged again! :)

Josh & Stormie Tingey said...

You go girl!! You are her mother and you know what is best. People need to butt out. You are doing a wonderful job! If you ever need to talk I am kinda close by I'm in salt lake but I can be there in about 45 min or you can call me any time!! my number is (435) 720-2213.

missy lou said...

You go girl!!!!!! I support breastfeeding....it is natural and normal!!!!!! Good for you!!!!! If need anything give me a call!
Melissa B.

missy lou said...

You go girl! I support breastfeeding it is the only natural and chemical free milk supply out there! Don't let others get you down. You are the mom and only you can make the decision. If you ever need anything feel free to call. Oh and I finished up the baby headbands and need an address to mail them to you. Have a great day and remember the benefits of breastfeeding!