Oh Pancakes!

I'm just going to rant a little so bear with me on this.

I realize I'm a little finicky when it comes to making things or things in general. I don't know why. Crystal says that I like things to be perfect or finished at least. Like with the Rubik's Cube. I fumbled with that thing for months trying to figure it out until I did. How about the Malt-O-Meal that I only seem to get right once in awhile? Well that brings me to tonight's event: Pancakes. I've made'em before? Sure. First time I made pancakes that I can remember was back when I lived in California. My friend J.T. and I made ourselves and his mom breakfast. We made the pancakes basically from his memory. Yeah...they were raw in the middle. Either we poured them too thick or it was the batter. I don't know. I know we didn't get sick though, so that's good. I think perhaps this is why I got so upset at myself tonight.

You see I was sitting upstairs on this very computer just listening to random music and reading stuff on the internet. Crystal says from downstairs that she's hungry. I asked her what she wanted to which she replied "pancakes". So off I went to the kitchen to make her a nice batch of pancakes. Here's where things went wrong...to me. I saw the mix powder was just barely enough to use without opening a whole new one. No big deal. Then I went to measure the milk. Oh no! The one I like to use for liquids...actually our only one that has liquid measurements was used last night to make cupcakes. No big deal, it just was used to measure a little oil, which I was going to measure anyway. So I measured the milk. Then comes the oil. What's this? The liquid measurer only had 6tsp as a minimum and my mix needs 2. Ugh?! So I went ahead and grabbed out what I thought was a 1/4 tsp measure "cup". It was so tiny! I measured out 1 "tsp" and then realized something...it said 1/4 Tsp. DOH! So I did a quick test to a dirty 1 tsp measurer and saw it sorta evened out a little over 1 tsp with 4 of the 1/4 Tsp. Ok so it might need more oil...or not? So I decided to not add anymore. I was starting to get a little frustrated though. That was, until the egg. I grabbed out an egg from the fridge and cracked it into a clear glass cup to check for shell pieces. I grabbed out a few pieces that I saw and was about to pour it in when I saw these little tiny things floating in the egg. Were they egg shell bits? I have no idea but they sure did get me ruffled up. So I attempted to pour the egg without those bits into the mix as I didn't want to waste an egg. Then I got all frustrated cause I saw some go into the mix and started yelling about the shell bits. I was mad at this point. I cracked another egg into a new glass and it was a clean break unlike the first egg where I had to tap it a few times. What did I see? More tiny little things...I was like UGUUU!HHHGHHHGHHAHHHHH!!!!! I poured just a little of the clear egg part into the batter to counter how much off the last egg I didn't put in. I was lost at this point. I don't know for the life of me why this all ruffled me up but it did. I already had the pancakes poured by the time Crystal came in the kitchen wanting to take charge of the project. I ended up being stubborn as a mountain and finished cooking the pancakes. She went upstairs not wanting to deal with me. I left the pancakes out to cool when I was done baking them and went upstairs. Crystal later tossed'em and made a bowl of cereal.

So what did we get out of the end off all this? A whole lot of empty stomach, a happy garbage, a bucket load of hurt feelings.

I'm sorry about the whole thing. Part of the reason why I posted this. I feel like such a mule. I don't mean to be mad at myself about things that I do. I can't help it when things turn sour on something and so do I. I'm going to try my best though. I guess in the end...it's what I need to remember? One can only try their best, they can't be the best. That'd be God.

Love you honey.

- D