my lovely necrotic dog and my tired husband

so many things are going through my head right now, I am having a hard time trying to figure out how to say what I want with it all making some scene, then i realize it is 2:30am and I have not slept and I have been upset/stressed/pissed for the last hour and half, so i figure what the heck if this post does not make scene that fine, it doesn't need to.

I have been trying to crate train my lovely necrotic dog, since the day I came home from vacation, (more on way I am doing that later) I have read and read and read on how to crate train your pet, both adult and puppy, it says it is possible to do, it may take days or months, apparently i am on the month route.

The first day I bring the crate home, i let him explore it I throw toys in there or treats, he goes in just fine, sometimes just his head sometimes his whole body, but he goes in, the next step put him in there, and shut the door, so i do that, i start out in small increments of time, over the days i have been building up, one day he was in there while i sewed cleaned and went about my normal day he was in there for 4 hours, never made a peep, (good dog)

Well wE cant leave him in the crate while we are gone, why? well because he is my lovely necrotic dog who try's to chew his way out, a few years ago when i tried this crate training thing he broke his tooth down to the root, well now he is chewing on the plastic, and making his mouth blood by cutting up his gum's, i came home from running errands gone maybe 1 1/2 hours, let him out, tell him to go potty, as he is jumping on me and I am ignoring him i see he has something all over his white beard, when he goes out side i lift the crate and find blood and chew marks, i am pissed and upset. What am i suppose to do? he goes in freely, he CAN stay in there with out whinnying, but apparently not while we are gone, so i say screw it i will not leave him the crate while we are gone.

So he doesn't seem to mind going or being in the kennel while we are home so lets put him in there to sleep at night, we feed him make him go potty, take him for walks, play with him to wear him out of energy before bed. Have him go in the crate for his treat, and cue the whinnying, some nights it is for about 2 minutes and some nights he whines for HOURS with out stop. last night he whined and whined dustun was getting so upset cause he needed to get up in 4 hours, Well i know i cant take him out while he is whinnying or else he'll think if i whine i am free, so i grab my robe, my pillow and my lovely necrotic dog and go out on the hallway floor to sleep, and what happens? bandit shuts up curls up and goes to bed, agggg why cant you do that two hours ago in the bedroom???

So tonight, he gose in his crate and whines and whines, dustun of course goes to bed no problem I am trying to tune him out all the while saying he'll stop any minute, well about 120 minutes pass nope not stopping, I get frustrated so i put the crate in the bathroom turn on the fan and climb back into bed, ha i think you though being 2 feet away and being able to smell and hear us was so terrible, now what do you think dog? cue the really loud whinnying, barking scratching, agggggg, i am never going to win. I go in to the bathroom sit on the floor I am still ignoring him, and what does he do? stops whining curls up and gos to bed, now at this point I am so frustrated i start crying saying to myself or to the dog I am not sure at this point, why why why? you go in and out, you can stay in there with out whining your as close as you can get to us in the bed room, what do i do put a night light in your crate, sleep with the lights on so you can see us? pull your voice box out? why are you so dumb? why cant you give in? why is this so hard?

Well here come the braxton hicks contractions and i start thinking crap, if i go into pre-term labor over this lovely neurotic dog I am going to be really pissed, so i try and clam myself down i tell myself well he has not whined for 30 minutes we have been the bathroom so i let him out, i go into the bedroom and spray my bed with relaxing mist and tell dustun if he wants to wait to meet his daughter rub my back to relax me.

Part two of why I am still up:

He rubs my back for all of 2 minutes, I am trying too vent to him basically everything i have written above and he get in his angry, tired voice that make me want to smack him around, i tell him i just need him to listen to me and to rub my back. I start to calm down a bit, and of course since i am up and have been for a while I realize i am starving, so i ask dustun to make me a peanut butter sandwich and small glass of chocolate milk to sooth my burning form heartburn throat, he gets up and is just grumbling saying, i am tired, and something, something, something, I just lay there saying don't get mad don't get mad, well he brings me the food and the liquid chocolate with a dash of milk in it and rolls over and goes to bed, he doesn't ask how am doing, or doesn't keep rubbing me, aggggg so i start rubbing my leg against his as if i am a cricket, he asks in his lovely voice, what do you have a cramp or something?, i calmly say no, i am just pretending your rubbing me, he says i did rub you, i say ok i cant sleep i am going down stairs. well for the last 40 or so minutes i have been down here, has he came down to check on me? or to ask what he can do? nope he needs to sleep he is tired, well my god so am I, I have been up tonight all night, and last night up until 2:00 and I am pregnant and exhausted, and Abigail is kicking so hard it cant sleep, my back hurts no matter how i trying laying and I have become the fire breathing dragon again, but I need to let him sleep, I can't disturb him.

I am upset at him cause i have told him stress can couse preterm labor, and he knows i am stressed and he seems to not care, he is tired, at this point i am so tired and the hormones are raging all i want to do is go upstairs and pick a fight, but i know how it will go down and so do you Amanda I guess you cant come get me if i call you you tonight.

So what do i do? well I will post this, and say ok i have vented I am done, then i will get on my knees and talk to my father in heaven and ask for his help then i will take some deep cleaning breaths, and then go upstairs in my nice warm bed and go to sleep, I will not stress about the dog, I will will not fight with Dustun And I will sleep like a baby.